Hollywood is always about happy endings, last minute rescues, and once in a life time romances, but what if that was not the case? How would certain popular movies be if things didn’t always work out so conveniently?
*spoiler alerts may apply to some of these, so if you haven't seen a particular title here, avoid reading about it*
Twilight: New Moon: Edward leaves Bella for a prettier and younger girl who he will in turn dump as soon as she begins to age even a year. I mean, come on, the guy is a perpetual pervert, masquerading as a teenager for eons and let’s face it, even a 60 year old woman is underage for a vampire, right?
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi: The emperor’s force lightning gives Luke Skywalker a heart attack and he drops dead.
Jaws: The U.S.Military is called into action after the many shark related deaths. They respond with a torpedo from a nuclear submarine to dispatch the behemoth shark.
Any action movie: The enemy aims at the hero, shoots, and actually hits him.
E.T.: The boy and E.T. are captured by the government and the boy is held in quarantine indefinitely until they can ascertain if the alien is a real threat or not. E.T. is subjected to a battery of humiliating tests including many anal probes, to which he could only mutter,“My people never anal probed you, why do you have to do it to me?”
The Book of Eli: He walks and trips into a hole breaking his neck. How far can a blind man walk without a cane?
Rocky IV: Ivan Drago says to Rocky, “I will break you”…and he does with a severe concussion, a broken jaw, and permanent loss of motor skills for poor Rocky.
The Fast & The Furious-Vin Diesel is hit from the side by a drunk driver and plows into the guy he is racing. Nobody is killed, but the drunk driver goes to jail for a DUI and the two racers go for reckless driving. There won’t be another sequel until bail is posted.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: Sorry Mr. Jones, but you shouldn’t have tried to retrieve your hat from the room with the sinking ceiling because now your arm is pinned beneath the door which had once already carried you to safety. Such a shame too, you had another couple good movies to do.
Predator: Dutch covers himself in mud to hide from the creature but he is killed any way. Apparently, the Predator had another vision filter that the movie didn’t show. I mean, seriously, this creature came from across the universe, had a proton cannon on his shoulder and a small self destruct device on his forearm that is so powerful it could level an entire jungle, so yeah, mud ain’t gonna cut it,bud.
There you go, now while I welcome normal comments, I would love for you all to keep this going, as in comment back with your own realistic ending or conclusion to popular movies. I know there are a ton that I missed and there are a lot of movie lovers out there with a ton of material to add to this little topic!
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