ArgueRants #17: Chirstmas: The Most Expensive Ass Time of the Year

Now that the snow has settled and the gifts have been unwrapped, we are all high on holiday joy.  The gift of giving is an expensive high and many of us will be paying well into next year for the holiday cheer we felt yesterday.  The Pope decreed Christmas “Glitter” and there’s few among us who wouldn’t agree that this holiday has become increasingly commercialized.  The world is changing and how we express things to one another has changed too.  We are a capitalist society and therefore on some level a lot of us stand to profit by over spending.

Unfortunately, many will have put themselves into debt already thanks to credit cards or simply foregoing paying certain bills to make sure little Johnny had his fire truck this year.  Life is about sacrifice and whether it’s the shirt off your back or no shirts for the next three months, people are very much willing to go without so someone can get something.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t one of those people as I have a stack of bills eyeing me suspiciously as I type this blog.  If they could talk, they might say, “I like what you got for your girlfriend, but what about me? The water bill?  You don’t like my water or something?!  Not good enough for you to pay for??”  I will pay you shortly, I think to myself, but I know I should have paid you earlier. 

It seems we are a slave to our bad habits and as companies learn more about us they begin to find ways to exploit our inherent weaknesses.  We all want those happy times on television where everyone opens the gifts they have been longing for and what a thrill it is to stack your shopping cart full of shit you wouldn’t normally even contemplate during the rest of the year.  I think if Christmas is going to be so much about giving, then we ought to split it into two holidays: Christmas I and Christmas II.  Not twice the gifts, no my greedy readers, but one holiday split into two so we don’t go broke trying to afford one.  We need more stores with layaway options or banks with useful saving programs which would invest a certain percentage of a person’s deposits into a savings fund. 

Since we are no longer hunter/gatherers we have become consumer/spenders and since the world around us molds to this vision and trend, we have to make a choice to go with the flow or find a way to fight the tide.  Many people shop in advance or put money away but for the most part, people are pretty frivolous with their cash and thanks to December 25^th, many debt collectors will continue to have a job for the rest of the years to come.  It is sort of depressing to think like that but with so many people in the same mess it begs one to wonder is this mess our ultimate destruction or will we find a way to profit off it as a whole?  People don’t want to see the rich get richer, but really, when the rich get richer, a lot of people tend to make more money.

In my town in particular, the only money to be made is in some kind of service industry.  In the old days, people use to take care of their own shit, we didn’t have the level of ultra-specialization that exists nowadays, but nowadays if you don’t do something that someone else wants to do, you have to offer a service that no one else does.  The internet is killing a lot of businesses because it negates the need for as many employees and eliminates in some cases people having to even leave their house.  I wonder if jobs are like matter in the universe, in the sense that they cannot be destroyed only transformed, so for every machine that takes the place of a cashier, another technician is required to work on it.  I’m no fool though; I can see the hard times getting harder for many and I myself feel the crunch.

Christmas is indeed a wonderful holiday but at its core it creates a pressure on many people to do things outside their means.  Some will argue that we should have more self control and it wouldn’t be an issue, but I think there also needs to be some culpability on the part of creditors who often times grant credit to people who don’t have the finances to be responsible in their use.  A box of chocolates from someone means much the same as a videogame, any gift from another to me shows they were thinking of me and with a world of over 6 billion people, it’s nice to be recognized as someone special among the crowd.  So go broke, go simple, go frugal or go hum bug, but the holidays are to be celebrated or shunned at our discretion.

ArgueRants #16: The Love In Your Life

We all get lonely and for many of us, the need to find a person to fill in that gap is a never ending pursuit. When we finally meet someone special and begin to grow close to them, a completely new sense of interdependence is created and thus feeds us joy even at the mere thought of the other person. There really is nothing quite like being in love with someone else and because the feeling is so strong, we are often times willing to do just about anything to keep receiving it. As people, we are prone to habit with the knack for almost instant adaptation if the motivation is right.

I am dating a girl now that has inspired me to make a lot of positive changes in my life and I too have done all in my power to improve her life and well being. For me, having that special someone in your life gives you another reason to fight the good fight, another reason to awake with a smile, another reason to be who you are despite the forces that try to consolidate and manipulate your essence. We love the people we love because they love us for who we are and we love them for the same reason. We love in spite of our flaws, short falls, and failures, in fact, it’s sometimes these very things that add to the very flavor of a personal union.

The core of it all is attraction and not simply that tingly sensation one gets from looking into the face of another, but the feeling of loyalty that is created and the pleasure that comes from simply being with another person. Watching a bad movie with my girl makes it better, sharing in something together is divine, and without a doubt, idle conversation is ever expansive and never boring. When I’m with her, there seems to be little that bothers me, like being doped up and numb without the lack of mental clarity and acute liver damage. She is indeed the greatest addiction I’ve ever had and it’s one habit I damn sure don’t want to give up.

Our significant other teaches us a lot about ourselves because as it is, we are not so transparent to others that they know all our idiosyncrasies, problems, and dreams. People are complex, full of unopened doors and our given rations are in constant flux. We build on our experiences and try to move forward as often as possible, the relationship itself ages like fine wine as the inherent bond between two people creates a sense of understanding which is impossible to get anywhere else. No one will ever know you like the person you love and it’s very healthy to be able to take the mask off you may wear to others.

Love is powerful and it’s no wonder people go to extremes for it and to maintain it. Love is like an equalizer to the soul, whereby when one person is down, the other boosts them and vice versa. It is an emotional yin and yang and a variable mathematic equation of dynamic exchange between two people. What would the world be like if we didn’t love one another? It would be savage, unfulfilling, and devoid of ultimate pleasure. We are wired to care and to be there for others, but we are also unique in the sense that we can’t be wired to everyone equally. There are some people who fit us perfectly like a glove and I am happy to say I have that kind of person in my life and I would fight to the death for her, boost her when she needs it, and see the world not as mine and hers, but ours, together. The Beatles were right, “all you need is love, love…love is all you need.”

ArgueRants #15: Status Symbols

Unless you live alone in a hole somewhere in limbo, you live in a social world and in it are many people who will judge you and size you up all throughout your life. It would be easy to say that there are two types of people when it comes to the social world: one who cares what others think and one who does not, but people are rarely one extreme or the other since there are so many circumstances which would logically govern we make alternate choices as to do so would more than likely be the most successful approach. Most people generally are pretty open to what others think about them and react accordingly and those consumed with status are hyper aware of what people will think of them.

A status symbol is basically and most often a very expensively priced and high quality item that is associated with people of distinction, social presence, and wealth. To the owner of a status symbol comes the expectation that said item will complete a look and seal their image. With all due respect to some status symbols though, the price is not always ridiculous and there is a reason why a lot of people prefer certain brands. When you buy a superior product that functions near without flaw, looks nice, and lasts a long time or perhaps was even constructed by hand, you can justify paying more for it but there are some of these status symbols that are just absurd in that you are paying solely for the name and not the ingenuity of its construction, the cost of its materials—just the fucking name.

I really have pondered what exactly is the payoff of acquiring a plethora of various accepted status symbols such as a Rolex watch, Versace suits, and a Lamborghini? I can’t think it’s a guaranteed method of getting laid because if you’re lame, doesn’t matter what package you come in, a gal is just liable to move on, even if she is a gold digger. Is it the social respect? What does that equate to anyway? More people nodding approvingly at you when you walk by in certain clubs and restaurants, having certain socialites refer to you favorably to some know-it-alls who don’t really know shit and don’t matter in the scheme of things any more than what someone would allow them to mean? I’m more inclined to think it’s one’s friends, that innate competition that manifests between people you see on a regular basis and go out together and see. You may have each other’s backs but someone always wants to have the better status.

So for some this is easily accomplished by getting the “goods” and selling the image, though buying the image would be more apt. Since most of us have the freedom to spend our money how we see fit, there should be no issues but the pursuit of status can sometimes come at the expense of others if it is taken to an extreme. I’m sure you know of people with gorgeous customized cars that live in destitute apartments and homes; some even forego that luxury for t heir status symbols. I could almost see the justification of such a sacrifice in living quality if it were somehow granting me a more fruitful opportunity in the future but that doesn’t appear to be the case. I do have to admit though that status is not a very important thing to me or at least in my eyes it cannot be bought.

The people that do buy these lavish things see the world completely different and that new watch or suit is like another piece of armor to wear in this battle of image. I understand the need to create an image and I think we are all somewhat conscious of it as it’s a fair statement to say that the bulk of us don’t go out of our way to look like shit, we tend to want people to like what they see, but everything I see outside of personal hygiene can often be completely irrelevant. I don’t mind paying extra for something if the quality is good as far as clothing goes and electronics but to pay top dollar just because somebody had the balls to overcharge the shit out of his product and people were stupid enough to pay for it and thus it just became accepted, no thanks, and if Louis Vuitton hand bags can go for $800+ I would hope each one would come with money already inside.

I don’t want to make this topic one of pure negativity as the idea of status is not completely useless and much can be said about you about what you choose to wear and the products you buy. They might not always appeal to all the numbers but for the lovers of status come in both sexes so you are liable to be noticed by someone else in that realm as well. Mentally we all live in a world of fantasy whereby we lay our specific colored filters over the world and then when we decide what it is we like and want to do, we look for others who often times see the same thing and if your game is status then you have your own set of rules than if you lived by, let’s say, your reputation. In the end, who’s to tell anyone else how to live: if it’s your dream to live in a Porsche then by all means, but I think we all sometimes make mistakes by failing to consider a host of variables that just never appeared below the bright glow of something novel, status worthy, or maybe just cool at the time.

Argueants #14: The Fine Line Between Pleasure and Pain

This piece is not directed at or written for masochists, but it is more or less to explore the dividing lines of pleasure and pain for relatively normal individuals using some of my own experiences though I can’t claim to be completely normal as I am can easily inflict harm upon myself or take whatever pain comes at me, if the situation calls for it. I also don’t consider myself the type that would mutilate myself or impair a bodily function just for shits and giggles. Pleasure and pain are like warm and boiling, cool and freezing, and deep and bottomless, the latter being the former revved up much higher and though our nerves tell us many things about our bodies, it’s our minds in the end that determine how exactly those sensations are perceived. The mindset behind any pain is nearly as determinate as the injury itself, as we have the uncanny ability to redirect our focus and react untraditionally to an age old affliction. I myself am prone to fits of laughter if I happen to sustain a particularly painful injury, but from a purely logical standpoint, it’s simply a protective mechanism and the brain chemistry produced in laughter is certainly beneficial to any one experiencing pain.

We have to understand that pain tells us that something might be off or working incorrectly and at that point as individuals we can assess whatever threat it may happen to be and it may not turn out to be negative at all and that sensation can be transformed into something pleasure inducing. The line of pleasure and pain is one in constant flux, so an individual can test this boundary and push themselves farther in terms of stimulation as the sense of what feels “normal” is in reality much far off the persons original tolerance. This happens naturally over time as many women can probably say that the smacks they got on the ass as a kid were probably not half as hard as the ones they get now but I’m sure they thought they were much more painful than pleasurable as a child. So we can see quite clearly that time itself hardens us to certain stimulus but also makes us more sensitive to others, as a young kid rarely experiences the aches in his bones or the hard impact of the ground when he jumps from high up but daddy can rarely say the same and mommy as well.

How does the pain we endure define us and how does society itself push us to deal with pleasure and pain? I think for many pain can be a defining factor as it is usually the result of some trauma or medical affliction that brings one face to face with their own mortality and you begin to realize that living well takes a lot of effort and focus as the demand any constant pain can bring is nearly unbearable. We adapt though and we find ways to deal with things by adopting a different attitude and this strengthens us by adding another layer of perception to counter the one just telling you that you are hurting. Now the world we live in does not want you to hurt and with more ergonomical furniture and a multitude of sedentary activities, it would seem that most businesses don’t really want you doing much of anything at all save for going out to buy their product and even that isn’t necessary any more with the ever increasing presence of online merchandising. A lot of the products that are sold to people are for convenience and to make things more comfortable and the only people that want you to visibly suffer and make no denials about it are the fitness gurus pushing people to engage in intense physical workout sessions and gut-wrenching routines.

I’m sure your mind is dirty like mine and when you think about pain and pleasure you will undoubtedly think about sex. For me, that’s a huge example of how mindset can completely negate and often times transmute sensory information. If anyone were to run their nails down my back so hard that they would leave visible welts and tears I would probably turn around and elbow them in the head before they could finish, but when this happens during a sexual encounter, it may sting a little but it only serves to stir an already boiling kettle. Some girls like their hair pulled and to be spanked but try doing that in a normal social setting and watch how quickly you are slapped and accosted by that girls burly Guido friends. There are also people who are into much more intense interactions and though this is the internet I don’t feel the need to elaborate on S & M.

It’s a dog eat dog world and just how you take a bite may determine your very place in the food chain. We can all judge for ourselves all the things we feel and decide what to endure and what to flee. Add it to the million other things that set us apart as individuals but for the most part, we all tend to like what other people like and hate what other people hate, while accepting that there will always be those on either end of the spectrum and some completely off the charts or books for that matter. If there is a point to suffering we can’t forgo it and if we hurt ourselves needlessly, we must also figure out for how long we’ll do that because in the end, we all pay the price for the lives we live and though some may be taken suddenly, the lot of us will reap the sum of our years in often times inglorious terms.

ArgueRants #13: Advertising

On your shoes, your shirt, your coffee maker, your TV, your car, your computer and everything else you own is a label of some sort or quite possibly a logo. On television, people are pushing everything from toilet paper to luxury cars to bubble gum and at movies before the main attraction, you are being peddled products much the same way. On your way home from the theater you will pass a billboard of some sort selling you something else and damn if you think to yourself, you just can’t get away from advertising! It’s true as advertising makes ads themselves nearly omnipresent, but some people will have you believe that this constant flood of information telling you what to buy and do is a real problem and though much of the products that are advertised such as fast food and alcohol are not healthy per se, it is a natural function of the brain to filter out the undesirable and focus on what’s important.

When I was in college, I was a big “anti-corporation” and “anti-advertising” advocate and in retrospect I was really talking out my ass but my heart was in the right place. I saw the far reaching grasp of corporations and their commercials and sat rigid in my belief that these things were killing the mindset of the general population, but really it’s just people looking to make money and getting their name out there. We have to realize that once we reach a certain age, we cannot simply accept that we are slaves to certain tendencies or infallibly gullible to the sales pitch of any big name company with enough money to shell out for a creatively enticing commercial. I accept that eight minutes of my 30 minute show is dedicated to commercials, but if it weren’t for them, there would be no money for the shows in the first place so it’s a necessary evil. Advertising also help to keep down the cost of many magazines and comic books and there are a ton of company sponsored sporting events from a motley crew of companies from American Express to Bud Light.

So what if advertising is everywhere, most of us are trying to make money and one man’s profit is often another man’s gain. We should realize the advantage in being able to have fun at the expense of a company who just wants us to know who they are and what they sell. Is it evil? No. Do corporations sometimes get away with unfair tax breaks all the while many hard working individuals pay far too much in taxes? Yes. Blame it on the government, blame it on somebody, and boycott the product if you will, but at the very least, enjoy whatever fringe benefits they may offer if they apply or are appropriate.

At any rate, at least there seems to be a fair amount of creativity invested in a lot of the advertising that we see nowadays, everything from viral videos to hilarious commercials, the intellectual property of some company’s advertising seems to almost out value the physical property itself. They sugar coat the sales pitch, put the ad in the burger they put in your face and hope that in the back of your mind, you store it sub consciously and then miraculously are compelled to buy their product. The Super Bowl is a time when the advertising big boys premiere their new commercials in what has become a tradition for many, not all of them are great, but sometimes you’ll see a commercial on TV that is genuinely funny and I can appreciate a good laugh whether or not it’s done with the intent to sell me something. Is not every joke a comedian says not to sell their own talent?

There are some things you can ignore and they will go away and much goes the same for the companies that invest money for ads. If we are quickly able to forget them or block them out then they might find themselves with less and less sales and eventually will cease to exist, but then again, you can have a company that doesn’t advertise at all and do perfectly fine so it’s really not an applicable factor to every business. I personally own a business and don’t pay to advertise, I just count on word of mouth and the people I do work for will tell their friends I did a good job and when they need help, they’ll call me. We all have wants and desires and we ALL want them fulfilled, so people make it their business to ask around when they need something done and if as a company you are smart enough to have already anticipated someone’s problem, then you can show them a solution or service and they’ll show you their money.

Nowadays, with the advent of DVR’s, commercials are not even much of an issue when watching TV since you can fast forward through most of them and I usually read something during commercials any way because I could less about what new flavor Stride gum has come out with and what pisses me off even more is a commercial for a restaurant that isn’t even in my state. I think as adults we have learned to ignore just about anything we want to, as parents, we should not let the TV raise our kids but I admit to having watched a lot of television in my lifetime and I don’t consider myself uneducated nor out of shape. Well the presence of ads seems never ending, we all do play our part in determining the success of most any given company, in the end, what works will stay around and what doesn’t will wind up failing, business is much like nature in that it’s the survival of the fittest.

ArgueRants #12: Boredom

We’ve all been in some situation whereby we had absolutely nothing to do and the feeling of boredom can be the mental equivalent of a gunshot in the stomach. Now while for some of us, these moments are few and far between, I have noticed that there are many people who seem to be chronically bored all the time. If you took the time to look closely at any one’s life, you would realize that any of the activities that each of us participates in can be considered boring by someone else. You may have even experienced the phenomenon of being bored doing something that you normally like to do and it’s this occurrence that causes me to raise an eyebrow to someone who tells me that they are constantly bored. Is it really that t here is nothing for someone to do or that they are simply incapable of being stimulated on certain levels?

Modern times make for modern entertainment and the trend seems to be growing towards more and more exposure to entertainment from all types of mediums. As the world expands and as every new individual takes it upon themselves to create entertainment for others, how is it affecting the world at large and more importantly, the entertainment in it? I often think of how popular the Simpsons use to be and nowadays the show seems pale in comparison to other cartoons of the same genre and inevitably it was people growing bored with The Simpsons that caused their rivals to come into creation. Supply and demand exists in consumable products just as it does with entertainment itself. The mind constantly yearns to be satisfied and if we’re bored, we’re in dire need of stimulation, which varies dramatically from individual to individual.

So how do most people cope with that dreadful feeling of having time and having no idea what the hell to do with it? Boredom is often times ended simply with action, as much of boredom’s origin comes from a simple lack of movement, mainly physical but it can exist mentally as well, when we find ourselves repeating a mental process over and over again. Some people eat when they’re bored, some people play games, some people talk, some people draw, and some people go on the computer, but what do people do when they’re bored? They look for stuff to do and in that eventuality exists a great opportunity for business because money can always find you some sort of activity to do, if you are the type that lacks imagination or resources.

On a personal note, I rarely find myself “bored” or without something to do. When it comes to entertainment I’m a pretty flexible guy enjoying simple mundane television to watching a fire or reading a book, throw in some pool, video games, and fairly regular sex and my mind has a buffet of potential activities from which to eat. When I get down though or am really worn out from stress, much of what I normally love to do seems wholly and utterly boring. I think people forget how important one’s imagination is in living a healthy life, because it’s our entire view that shapes how every stimulus is received by our mind/body. When we wallow in boredom, we are essentially too tired to create or seek our entertainment, so it may be less about activities and more about neurotransmitters.

Boredom is just one of those things that everyone will experience from time to time but like with anything, if it becomes a constant dilemma, there could be many factors creating it and not just a lack of any particularly fun activity. I find by lacking focus, it’s hard to appreciate or enjoy any kind of music or what someone has to say because when you hear pieces of things as opposed to the sequential stream at which they were meant to be heard, you thereby diminish the potential enjoyment of that activity. Life is anything but a constant party and we all learn quite quickly that the good times are often dwarfed by the bad, so a happy disposition can take quite a bit of effort and maintenance. Just by simply eating better, one could stand to enjoy life more, which seems almost sort of absurd but let’s face it, health nuts do not represent a majority among the general population. So take a cue from the crazy man who talks to people who aren’t there: when you see the world is yours to create, you will find a lot more things to do…

ArgueRants #11: Opinions

Once in a blue moon, I will ask people what they think I should write about and by doing so I have had the opportunity to write about some interesting subjects. The latest suggestion I received was on ‘opinions’ and what delicious irony there was in asking someone’s opinion on what to write about and the subject turning out to be ‘opinions’. You’ve probably heard the old saying, “Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one,” and how many of us would really argue with that statement? If we look up the definition of opinion, we find that it’s a personal view or a judgment that lacks sufficient proof to be proved certain. When it comes to what we like as individuals, it is all in the name of opinion as there is little certainty in what any individual will adore or hate for that matter.

How important are opinions though and how have they changed over the course of history? My answer is not to say that opinions have changed but the reach of the individual is greater now than ever before. We live in an age of “insta-judgment” whereupon people can twitter about how bad a movie sucks while they are at the theater watching it and we can witness people across the planet via live television and chat the same way on a web cam. So nowadays, any time someone has an opinion, you can hear about it very quickly and though a lot of what we hear we may not agree with, it still enters into our mindscape. As it is our natural tendency to adapt to changing situations, obviously, the quicker the feedback, the sooner a response can come about and thus changes can be made. Just think of how much society has changed since communications have improved?

Opinions may only be fleeting sometimes because they are not always rooted in fact, but as most politicians can attest, a well worded opinion can dismount a solid fact. People tend to hear what they want to hear and the opinion is the mental pressure gauge of any subject we can pass judgment upon. Even the trivial things that people can talk about like ‘opinions’ or comics or TV shows, movies, etc, still give a window into the minds of other people. I have always thought that every time I get to know someone I know a little bit more about the world because much of our world is what it is because of every one playing their own part. This doesn’t mean that I seek out every single persons opinion in some futile effort to become one with the whole of the human population but I am always curious as to what people think on any subject they choose to talk about because one never really has to ask another person for their opinion: they are given quite often without prompt or command.

It’s an interesting age we live in as technology is beginning to separate us physically while on another front it is interconnecting us mentally. Facebook and Twitter are technological realms of opinion and with the ability to have all your close friends a few keystrokes away, there is no wonder why each have attained their respective growth and popularity. There is some comfort in knowing to some degree what others are up to when much of our life seems like an endless stockpile of random and unexpected events. Predictability in the face of unavoidable chaos is the name of the game but a futile battle it is sometimes.

Let’s not overlook the principle benefit of opinions and that is sheer pleasure, for who doesn’t like to put their two cents in about something? It’s why websites like the one this blog is being published on are achieving more and more success over the years because we are social creatures and there a many among us who embrace their innate curiosity in others. Who knows what’s in store for us but one thing for sure is that we’ll all have something to say about it and some people we’ll want to listen to and others we will pray for them to shut up. Like it or not, the people in our world define themselves further and further with every statement they make and the flow of knowledge, the path of entertainment, and the direction of science, is all is guided in some subtle way by the opinions of others both important and inconsequential. No man is an island unto himself when so much of our identity is comprised of the knowledge of others whereupon they themselves got it from someone else who got it from yet another person and so on and so forth. So now you know what potential the power of an opinion can have, what will you choose to do?

ArgueRants #10: Anxiety and Fear

Fear plays a vital role in our life as it guides us into making more responsible choices that will ensure our continual survival, but what happens when your natural urge to fight or run is activated without cause? When I speak of fear I don’t mean the dread of seeing one of your ex’s while you’re out with a new date but the fear of life and death that makes your heart pound and your mind race with a million thoughts that all seem to want to pull you apart while the world seems to come down on your chest making it hard to breath. What I’m describing is a basic panic attack and if you’ve ever suffered from some sort of anxiety disorder you know full well what I’m talking about and those of you who have never experienced such a thing, count yourselves lucky. I have had issues with anxiety my whole life and when it comes to matters of the mind, it’s sometimes hard to differentiate if our fear is the result of an expected response to a particular situation or if it is simply neurochemical in nature.

It would seem that one is invariably linked to another as each experience we go through in life is met with a particular reaction whether it is positive or negative and thus the balance of our brain chemistry is always in constant flux due to the nature of our ever changing environment. Even if we do the same thing our entire lives, go the same places and talk to the same people, we will still grow older as well as the people around us and things will always change. No one is immune to the imbalances that life creates but some are obviously more balanced than others. Sometimes I think that some aspects of our mind and body that we consider to be flawed nowadays could have been advantages in another time long before our own. If you’re prone to being overweight and you gain weight easily, you would more than likely have a better chance of survival than your skinnier counter-part in a time when food was scarce, so who’s to say that those of us who are overly anxious now, wouldn’t be inevitably safer in more primal times when danger and injuries were more prevalent?

We will never really know but in this day and age to experience levels of deep fear is extremely taxing on the system. When our energy decreases, so does our productivity and even our ability to enjoy life can be exhausted. It is astounding how paralyzed one can become with fear and that how the normal world we live in can become an actual nightmare and a simple sound can make your body ache. We choose to see the world through a filter and take in what we want and when that normal filter has been replaced with a larger mesh that allows for more stimuli to pour through your mind, it is that very feeling that one is beginning to lose their mind. It’s at this point that one simply can’t “get” over it by simply convincing themselves it’s all their head. It is in their head and that’s the problem because the mind is a very complex place and the brain itself is a computer which has no equal and holds just as many mysteries as the earth and cosmos. Luckily, we do know a bit about the brain and many drugs have been created that can help with the symptoms of a host of mental and physical disorders. Medication can work wonders and has done so for many who suffer from anxiety disorders, including myself.

For some, medication may only be a temporary thing, a sort of life raft when your life is suddenly flooded, but for others with more serious issues, there may need to be a regular balancing of one’s brain chemistry through artificial means. Behavioral therapy can also help work for anxiety and there are many coping exercises that people can utilize to help themselves work through panic attacks, like controlled breathing and mental exercises that help focus the mind. I myself sometimes use counting as a way to work through a potential panic attack, when your mind wants to run a million miles an hour, you might as well give it something to do so I just keep adding up numbers starting with one plus one equals two and then two plus two equals four and so on and so forth. It seems really simple but after awhile you have to think very hard to figure out the answer and it shifts the minds focus on worrying to problem solving. Regular exercise and a healthy diet can also ensure someone has the necessary nutrients and activity to ensure healthy and efficient brain function, not to mention simply getting enough rest in any given night.

So drugs are not always the answer when it comes to problems of the mind but I don’t think people should abstain from them just to abstain from them. It’s probably safe to say that a portion of people who take medication for depression and anxiety may not necessarily need to do so and probably could eliminate a lot of their symptoms with some lifestyle changes, but being a person prone to vices myself, it’s hard to find fault with people who want to help their situation even if they are the cause of their own problem, so to speak. If we are not willing to help ourselves than we cannot expect the world to be sympathetic to our situation, but if you have a friend with anxiety issues, try to be understanding of their plight and talk them down if necessary or sometimes just getting them out of the place that’s making them freak out is a quick fix too.

Anxiety is a part of life but it shouldn’t consume your life so if you find that you have a propensity for high anxiety, take a hard look at your habits and general perspective on life and it is always sound advice to see a doctor if you feel your anxiety is causing you detrimental mental and physical effects. Some people may feel cowardly for seeking help about “nerves” but for whatever reasons sometimes shit just happens and we have to do what we have to do in order to get back into the routine that we call life.

ArgueRants #9: Birthdays

Today I turn 33 and although nothing has physically changed in the past 24 hours besides my official age, I still always find myself changing mentally when every new birthday presents itself. Just like New Years, birthdays are a jump off point for a new lifestyle and an end to some bad habits. It is always interesting to see who will wish you happy birthday and if you are bold enough to mention it out loud, most people will automatically wish you a happy birthday. Everyone loves a holiday and what more personal a holiday than the anniversary of one’s birth, so I look forward to other people’s birthday’s as much as my own because it’s a justified excuse to party.

 I think it’s also interesting that with birthdays the format remains much the same your entire life. Whether you are 2 or 82, you are going to get a cake, people are going to wrap gifts and at either extreme of the age spectrum, you may need assistance blowing the candles out and unwrapping the gifts. Of course, some things do get left behind when we grow up as I have yet to see a clown performing at an adults birthday party, as I think this would generate more fear than excitement in most of us. Plus I have found that drinking heavily and clowns often times don’t mix and that is all I will speak on that particular subject. So the partying changes a bit over the years in addition to the gifts. Just like with Christmas, as young kids it was customary to get a lot of toys, but in retrospect we realize that most kids toys aren’t as expensive as the toys we come to love in our adolescence and although as a teenager you may get less gifts for your birthday, its usually a given that they are anything but cheap.

As an adult now, the gifts are not important to me as with all of my friends I like to stay within a certain price range so we don’t all as a group go broke trying to wish our friends a happy birthday. The old saying, “It’s the thought that counts” goes along way with me as I have given many gag gifts with much success. There are times when you can use the most personal of holidays to wish someone a most personal wish and give them a gift that really shows that you’ve been paying attention to them as we all have wishes and desires that we speak out loud with no intention of anyone granting them to us. Sometimes to give is to truly receive for the priceless reaction of someone surprised and happy is indeed quite an intoxicating feeling and the main reason parents go into debt during Christmas so they can watch their kids in utter heaven ripping apart package after package.

Even if you take all the people out of the equation on your birthday you still have yourself and the fact that you’ve made it yet another year. It’s a time of reflection, a time to evaluate if the path you’ve taken has led you to success or led you astray. If we didn’t have holidays and birthdays to punctuate our life in regular intervals, how odd would the passage of time seem for us? I have found that the older I get, the more repetitive life becomes and time definitely tends to fly when there aren’t a ton of new experiences to really stick out in the film reel that is your life. That is part of the essence of the birthday as well, you can’t stop them, you can only choose not to celebrate them. We can’t deny the years that we’ve existed as inevitably we’ve left a footprint on this world.

I look forward to seeing my friends tonight and people buying me free drinks. I look forward to people singing out of key to the tune of “Happy Birthday” and I look forward to eating a special birthday dinner of Empanadas, blacks beans and rice and Jell-O cake (all at my request of course). My life is sometimes heaven, my life is sometimes hell, but most of the time, it’s nestled in the place in between I call earth and reality. A birthday is something to be excited about or dreaded depending on your perspective, but in a world that doesn’t always cater to the individual, any time we can take to steal the spot light without consequence, we should embrace whole heartedly. If you’re young, you have a lot to look forward to, if you’re old, you’ve made it far you cranky bastard, either way, just celebrate. So happy birthday to me, happy birthday to you, and happy birthday to any one decent who deserves it: just remember, one man’s party is another man’s good time so no matter what side you are on, there is going to be fun.

ArgueRants #8: Moods and Movies

For as long as man has been alive, he has been finding ways to get intoxicated.  I imagine ancient man was trying to find different things to eat when he tried a certain kind of mushroom and then found himself ‘tripping balls’ as you may have it and thus the drug revolution had its start.  Is this how it happened, I’m not really sure, but drugs have been a part of our society for a very long time.  From caffeine to cocaine, there is a chemical for nearly every mood and as society has evolved, so have the drugs we take. Thirty years ago it was weed and acid and nowadays it’s pain pills and Xanax,as more and more prescriptions are being written for all kinds of physical and mental ailments. 

Drugs are a funny thing in that on one level, they can potentially destroy your life and in some cases, kill you in a single dosage,but on another, they can have profound effects on us that while may seem temporary, can often times carry over into your sober state of mind.  We can’t forget the drugs that are prescribed medically either, as more and more seems to be alterable by the consumption of synthetic catalysts and for some people these effects have been very positive and life changing.  Our drugs have evolved and just like us, they are becoming even more specialized then before.  There is Xanax for anxiety and Zoloft for depression, pills to give you erections and even ones to help you concentrate.  Soon, they may just come out with a pill that makes Monday’s suck a little less. 

Despite whatever positive effects they may have medically or how good they may feel when taken recreationally, drugs are very much demonized and to enjoy them on any level makes you a deviant yourself in the eyes of many.  People’s arguments against them are very solid, there is no doubt about it: they are illegal, bad for you,and can ruin your life.  This can go for many things though if we allow them to take control.  Eating unhealthy food isn’t good for you either but people still make the choice to eat that way because it is pleasurable.  I don’t encourage drug use but the whole point of this article is to say basically if you do or have used drugs, it’s not an automatic indication that you are the scum of the earth and minions of the Devil himself.

I feel a need to make a distinction between drug addicts and recreational drug users and don’t think you drinkers are off the hook because alcohol is included as a drug though the common misconception is to classify the two as different things.  If someone wants to get intoxicated and they are not in a position to hurt themselves or anyone else, then it should be their very right to alter their state of consciousness how they see fit. If someone is spending their rent money to get high that night or isn’t watching their kid because they are shooting up, they are a fucking addict.  I think drugs are something that can be used responsibly and with minimal health damage.  Of course the potential for dependence lurks but that is more for people with a natural predilection towards addiction.  It’s even harder to make an argument that there is a possibility for responsible drug use when there are so many horror stories of the opposition: drunk driving killing millions, over dosing taking more and more celebrities, and coke and pain pills are sending people to emergency rooms left and right.

The fact of the matter is that among us are professionals who are fantastic at what they do and drugs are very much a part of their life.  You may know a drug addict and you may know someone who you don’t even think is a drug addict but in fact is, you just never really know.  Is it really wrong to indulge in something that more than likely isn’t going to kill you in the end?  How many of our mothers and fathers did drugs and are alive and well today and by no means destitutes of society?  It’s just another one of those things that we always want to play safe with so we are always outwardly negative in our public voice in the matter of drug usage.  Drugs, like guns, can be deadly in one person’s hands and harmless in another person's.

There are many cultures that use drugs in their ceremonies and how many weddings happen without booze present?  There are obviously really bad drugs out there as I’m not going to compare crystal meth to champagne, but more people are dying from alcohol poisoning a year as opposed to over dosing on coke and meth, so go figure.  I deliberately went out of my way to not really focus on much of any drug in particular because it’s not about justifying any particular drug as each drug can be deadly to any individual if certain circumstances exist. Thousands upon thousands of people try coke for the first time without a hitch but every so often some poor unlucky bastard will fall dead and with certain things like that it gets tricky when you really think about people being able to do whatever they want. 

In time, I can see technology allowing us to control ourselves better if we are under the influence and perhaps save lives as self control is just not always so reliable. Perhaps one day someone will invent an insta-sober pill that you could take and be free of any intoxication after you were done partying so you could go home safely and put no one in danger. Hard to have your cake and eat it too and even if you make the cake illegal, people will still have it.  I do see hope in the future that perhaps we will learn more about our wants and pleasures and be able to live the best of both worlds and that is to the live the high life of induced pleasure coupled with the certainty of responsible actions.

ArgueRants #7: Drugs

For as long as man has been alive, he has been finding ways to get intoxicated.  I imagine ancient man was trying to find different things to eat when he tried a certain kind of mushroom and then found himself ‘tripping balls’ as you may have it and thus the drug revolution had its start.  Is this how it happened, I’m not really sure, but drugs have been a part of our society for a very long time.  From caffeine to cocaine, there is a chemical for nearly every mood and as society has evolved, so have the drugs we take. Thirty years ago it was weed and acid and nowadays it’s pain pills and Xanax,as more and more prescriptions are being written for all kinds of physical and mental ailments. 

Drugs are a funny thing in that on one level, they can potentially destroy your life and in some cases, kill you in a single dosage,but on another, they can have profound effects on us that while may seem temporary, can often times carry over into your sober state of mind.  We can’t forget the drugs that are prescribed medically either, as more and more seems to be alterable by the consumption of synthetic catalysts and for some people these effects have been very positive and life changing.  Our drugs have evolved and just like us, they are becoming even more specialized then before.  There is Xanax for anxiety and Zoloft for depression, pills to give you erections and even ones to help you concentrate.  Soon, they may just come out with a pill that makes Monday’s suck a little less. 

Despite whatever positive effects they may have medically or how good they may feel when taken recreationally, drugs are very much demonized and to enjoy them on any level makes you a deviant yourself in the eyes of many.  People’s arguments against them are very solid, there is no doubt about it: they are illegal, bad for you,and can ruin your life.  This can go for many things though if we allow them to take control.  Eating unhealthy food isn’t good for you either but people still make the choice to eat that way because it is pleasurable.  I don’t encourage drug use but the whole point of this article is to say basically if you do or have used drugs, it’s not an automatic indication that you are the scum of the earth and minions of the Devil himself.

I feel a need to make a distinction between drug addicts and recreational drug users and don’t think you drinkers are off the hook because alcohol is included as a drug though the common misconception is to classify the two as different things.  If someone wants to get intoxicated and they are not in a position to hurt themselves or anyone else, then it should be their very right to alter their state of consciousness how they see fit. If someone is spending their rent money to get high that night or isn’t watching their kid because they are shooting up, they are a fucking addict.  I think drugs are something that can be used responsibly and with minimal health damage.  Of course the potential for dependence lurks but that is more for people with a natural predilection towards addiction.  It’s even harder to make an argument that there is a possibility for responsible drug use when there are so many horror stories of the opposition: drunk driving killing millions, over dosing taking more and more celebrities, and coke and pain pills are sending people to emergency rooms left and right.

The fact of the matter is that among us are professionals who are fantastic at what they do and drugs are very much a part of their life.  You may know a drug addict and you may know someone who you don’t even think is a drug addict but in fact is, you just never really know.  Is it really wrong to indulge in something that more than likely isn’t going to kill you in the end?  How many of our mothers and fathers did drugs and are alive and well today and by no means destitutes of society?  It’s just another one of those things that we always want to play safe with so we are always outwardly negative in our public voice in the matter of drug usage.  Drugs, like guns, can be deadly in one person’s hands and harmless in another person's.

There are many cultures that use drugs in their ceremonies and how many weddings happen without booze present?  There are obviously really bad drugs out there as I’m not going to compare crystal meth to champagne, but more people are dying from alcohol poisoning a year as opposed to over dosing on coke and meth, so go figure.  I deliberately went out of my way to not really focus on much of any drug in particular because it’s not about justifying any particular drug as each drug can be deadly to any individual if certain circumstances exist. Thousands upon thousands of people try coke for the first time without a hitch but every so often some poor unlucky bastard will fall dead and with certain things like that it gets tricky when you really think about people being able to do whatever they want. 

In time, I can see technology allowing us to control ourselves better if we are under the influence and perhaps save lives as self control is just not always so reliable. Perhaps one day someone will invent an insta-sober pill that you could take and be free of any intoxication after you were done partying so you could go home safely and put no one in danger. Hard to have your cake and eat it too and even if you make the cake illegal, people will still have it.  I do see hope in the future that perhaps we will learn more about our wants and pleasures and be able to live the best of both worlds and that is to the live the high life of induced pleasure coupled with the certainty of responsible actions.

ArgueRants #6: Cats & Dogs

When it comes to pets, most people think either cats or dogs.  Both animals have been domesticated and a part of society as far back as the B.C. era , so it’s no surprise that there is a quiet prejudice regarding the two animals.  Most people will tell you that they are either a ‘cat’ person or ‘dog’ person, I am a cat person myself, as they’ve been around me most of my life so therefore they are what I’m used to having as pets.  I love dogs too, don’t get me wrong, but as far as animals go I have always had a fascination with cats.  I think a lot of it has to do with their similarities to the big cats, which are obviously some of the best hunters in the world, so it’s cool to see one of nature’s perfect killing machine in an adorable, miniaturized version. 

For some though, dogs reign supreme and the idea of even owning a cat is gay.  There are definite advantages to owning a dog versus a cat, such as added protection, specialized functions via training, and even exercise, as you have to walk your little friend so they can do their business. Now a cat has its pros in that they don’t require much attention or care, they don’t need to be walked and their general small size makes them suitable for smaller houses and apartments. Both pets will provide you with endless hours of entertainment and years of unconditional love, but yet still people find reasons to hate each of these animals respectively.

A lot of people tend to think of cats as snobby, as they don’t often come to you when you call them. While I can’t claim that my cat comes to me with the trained regularity of a guard dog, but she does generally come to me when I snap my fingers.  People also mistake a cat’s natural independence for a lack of affection and I can tell you that most any cat you show love to habitually will be just as happy to see you as any wagging-tailed dog out there.  The other problem that commonly affects people in regards to cats is that many people are allergic to their hair and although though are medications to help control this, for most people the simplest thing is to just not own a cat.

Just as with people, not all dogs and cats are alike.  I have owned many animals throughout the years that have had amazing personalities and to be close minded about the joy a good animal can provide in your life is denying yourself a very basic pleasure in this world.  As companions, dogs and cats can help improve the lives of whoever give them love and a home.  There are some considerations to make before deciding to get either one of the two because despite the fact that it is your pet, it is also a living creature and it deserves the basic respect that living things should be entitled. 

I see a lot of people that work a lot of hours getting dogs and this can sometimes put stress on the animal.  I know on one level the animal is probably being saved from being killed at the pound eventually, but on another, the animal is in dire need of attention and has to “wait” on you most of its existence while you go out and make your living.  Even if your animal has access to the outside, it is still “alone” and their excited disposition when you return home is not because they are somewhat glad to see you, it’s because they’ve been dying to see you!  I also realize that some people can’t avoid this, but if you are in a similar situation and if you can make the time to give your dog the attention it deserves, do it. 

If time and space are not something you have in abundance, a cat may be more your style, as they don’t need much room and don’t need to go outside.  I am generally against having outdoor cats because I have had way too many run over by cars,but if I lived in a more rural area or had a screened in porch, I would let them out.  Cats can be very neat pets and whether they are trying to pounce on birds from behind a glass window or bolting through your house for no particular reason, like dogs, they can make you laugh and smile.  People want to be dismissive towards cats because they can’t do as much, well my argument for this is simple:  I don’t need protection from any one; if I throw a ball, I can retrieve it myself, and I get enough exercise at the gym and work to where I don’t need to walk a dog; I’m not blind so I don’t need a guide; nor am I looking for drugs or tracking any animals.

I wanted to write this article to talk about the benefits of both animals because I don’t like hearing people say, “I hate cats” or “I hate dogs”.  I hate even more hearing about the horror stories of people torturing either animals or any animal for that matter.  My question is, what is it about a certain type of living creature that compels people towards such hatred?  It seems so much of that which we dislike in this world is so easily avoided and acting upon our hatred most of the time is not worth the consequences if we are caught in the act.  So in closing, is there a perfect pet out there?  Well, it’s all relative to the person and what they expect and therefore in turn, what they are willing to do themselves.  When you do find the right pet, it’s an almost immediate connection and a friendship that will last the animals entire life and a memorable portion of yours.     

ArgueRants #5: Society's Pressure Towards the Norm

There are a lot of people that don’t believe in destiny but if you think about it most of us already have a set line of how we are going to live our lives.  It seems like the natural progression is that one grows up, finds a job they like doing, a suitable mate, and then they have children and live happily ever after, but is this really the dream we should all follow? Society is not what it used to be and women have begun to cast off a lot of the old stereotypes and have been focusing more on fostering careers instead of families.  Should we be afraid that women are concerned less with having babies and more with making money and building status?  No, of course not, the world is anything but scarcely populated so it only benefits society that less people have children and more people be concerned with the economic welfare of them selves and in a greater sense, their country.

Men are filling the role as single father more often as of late too and with much success as you don’t need to be of any specific gender to love and care for a child. Society is much like ourselves and gets bored with the status quo, plus when you have someone who has been at the bottom of the totem pole, they are inevitably going to try and work their way up. You can imagine the conflict this creates and it is conflict from which we all profit and suffer by because we live in a world a thousand battles happening all at once and ever continuing.

We can all see how an environment can create a person and change how they see things and in this day and age, people are coming into their own while our technology is growing exponentially around us.  The America of suburban families may find itself a minority to the rise of individualism as more and more technology puts us in total control of our destinies. People can walk amongst us yet be completely lost in their own world oblivious to the people around them.  You do it yourself when you get in a cell phone conversation while walking around in public.  Information is starting to pass between us almost instantly as more and more devices allow people a degree of connectivity of a hive like mind.

However strong the pull of technology is, there is no denying our most primal of desires and that is to seek love and from this we are going to have children.  The sum of our population is like water that spills into the future and fills in any cracks of possibility out there, that we will do all that is possible with in our realm and potential and whatever we can’t do ourselves, we’ll do with our imaginations and reflect that in our art and entertainment.  There is a direction we travel which is beyond any of us to control, but we all play our part in setting these inevitable circumstances into motion.  There is, of course, an incredible amount of potential for any individual in this tide of certainty, to go beyond what is expected, to try what hasn’t and to sometimes go against the grain of what is common.  It’s this very tendency that has carried us this far and will continue to until we are no more.   

ArgueRants #4: Beauty

I will admit something very personal to everyone; I have always wanted to be good looking.  I don’t think this is uncommon and I’m sure there are many people out there who feel the same way, but for most of my life, I have stuck out like a sore thumb.  Now before I make this seem like a self-pitying rant, I must say I am cool with who I am now.  Though I would still very much enjoy being a better looking guy, I have learned over the years that it is not the most important thing in the world. 

You always hear that birds of a feather flock together,well while that saying does hold true sometimes, most the time, it is way off basis of what we call reality.  You don’t need to be a great looking guy to date a great looking girl, because it’s not like beauty is color and pattern coded and only certain people can go together.  Beauty goes far beyond the skin and what we consider beautiful can involve many aspects of who a person is such as their personality as well as the placement of their facial bones and the size of their chest. 

There is a science to beauty often times though, as we generally consider faces that are symmetrical to be more attractive and obviously in art we have a high reverence for those that can accurately capture how something looks with a level of detail that gives reality a run for its money.  Anything can be beautiful because it’s not simply about looks but how something makes you feel.  When you see something beautiful it is a rush of stimulation:  your eyes open wider and your nostrils flair while you are transfixed on a sight which by its very nature captivates. 

Beauty is great because it is all around us.  The articulate puffiness of the clouds, the magnificent glow of the setting sun, the apple-like shape of a beautiful woman’s ass, or sometimes the swirl of cream in your coffee can be beautiful, it’s as much your own mood that determines the beauty you see. When you learn more about something, you may find the ideas beautiful because they appeal to you, they make you yearn for more like we do for a woman we find beautiful.  Are we all superficial for being attracted to beauty?

It’s more a matter of survival then it is simply people being picky.  While we as a race like to think of ourselves as sophisticated, we are still animals and when it comes to mating, most creatures are concerned with the genetic compatibility of their mate to ensure the survival of their species. Beauty can usually tell us if someone is healthy, which automatically makes them desirable on a very primal level because they are seemingly capable of bearing children.  Even if someone is not what is traditionally considered beautiful, there is always a similar group of people that are attracted to these people. For every type of look a person can have, there is a person that dig that look out there, now whether or not their personalities are compatible is a matter all its own.  There is no standard for beauty because it’s always different strokes for different folks.

I don’t have a type when it comes to women because I think there are so many different types of beautiful women out there that each has their own little personal flair.  I can’t imagine a world where beauty didn’t exist and I think you can sometimes take for granted the beauty of things around you. Just the way simple things work sometimes is beautiful or the way circumstance seems to act as fate sometimes is beautiful.  We don’t see beauty simply because it exists,we see it because we need it to and we see it because we are always looking,always evaluating, always open to the world around us and how it makes us feel. 

ArgueRants #3: Coolness

What is it exactly that defines coolness?  Is it calm under extreme pressure?  Is it rebelling against the status quo?  Is it the charm of words and fashion that immediately present someone as a person others would like to imitate?  People learn by copying, it’s how we all got to this point because we watched Mom and Dad do stuff and we tried it too and even to this day we’re still taking cues from those around us to help us in our own individual plights.  So what is it that cool people do that gives them that label exactly and who’s really to say what is and isn’t cool?

One thing for sure is that there is no specific morality placed on the idea of cool as many evil characters are often labeled cool,perhaps not simply only for their ruthlessness, but their general attitude and effectiveness.  When we think cool we think carefree and yet strangely always under control and on top of things.  It’s that ability to make something difficult look effortless and natural that captivates us.  Cool is thankfully nothing that is confined to only the genetically gifted, it’s a label which can be bestowed upon any one because we are all open to be interpreted in many different ways by people as well as have the free will to make choices that will improve our image in the eyes of others. 

Of course, depending on your crowd, the idea of cool may not even have anything to do with grace or respect but rather cruelty and humiliation.  The idea of coolness may be dominance and establishment of self created norms such as in the case of gangs.  Everyone uses cool as a label to make their lifestyle seem desirable, so not only can they increase their own potential to have fun but they can improve their status on the same stroke.  Cool is also about decency and generally being a good person.  It involves having forethought beyond that of others, anticipating needs and fulfilling them at a beneficial time.  We need in our society archetypes upon which to structure our behavior, as we further and further refine our interpersonal relationships and the society that exists around them.  So as seasons come and go and the tide rises and lowers, styles change and thus what is around us does along with it, though some forms of coolness are not necessarily seasonal but declarations of character.  Also it goes to say if you can’t imagine yourself as cool then it’s doubtful anyone else ever will either, so it becomes more about an attitude which may be recognized by others immediately, sometimes literally by the way you walk.

So in closing, coolness is in many ways a cloak that we may wear upon ourselves that is in its nature only visible to certain people.  With people there are no  absolutes and no sure fire way to guarantee any individual can be called or labeled cool.  People can be near identical in one respect and completely alien in another.  While there are people and things that are generally considered cool, there is always those who don’t agree with the norm and think completely different.  When it comes to opinions, styles and ultimately the essence of cool, the ideas are as many as there are people on this planet. Moral of the story?  If you aren’t cool here, you’re cool somewhere and if you aren’t cool now, you can get cool later!

ArgueRants #2: Sensitivity

There is no doubt that the world can be a very vicious place and at times it seems there is little sacred.  Despite this fact, I am not one of those people that think the world is in dire chaos and we as a people have no moral compass any more.  I believe this because I don’t think it was ever any better earlier in our history and because of the way society has changed and technology along with it, our interactions have become much more complex than before.  So it’s imperative that people adopt a sense of thick skin because no matter how well you safe guard yourself from offensiveness, no matter how polite and respectful you are yourself, someone is going to be a dick to you and it’s going to hurt if you let it.

Information is a funny thing, certain kinds of it you can absorb without a care in the world and then other information seems to pass like acid through the blood vessels in your head.  The fact is we place a lot of importance on what others think and we evaluate most of our self-worth upon the opinions of others.  Sure, people can see things about you that you may be blind to yourself, but what does someone else’s opinion really matter?  Opinions to me are either indestructible in that you can never change them; feathery, as in they can be swayed from one place to another with just a gust;  even ghostly, as they can fade away and become transparent if a more logical or beneficial opinion is introduced. 

When someone says something mean, take the time to think:  why does it hurt or why does it irritate?  Are they pointing out some obvious truth that other people have been polite enough to over look?  Are they bringing attention to something that is off topic or that you are trying to keep hidden?  Are they making far fetched and demeaning assumptions?  Perhaps they are just being plain rude and insulting you.  If someone never read Moby Dick, would you question them about it for reliable information?  So if someone who doesn’t know you then decides to talk shit about you, how are they in any way a reliable source themselves?  Sure, it’s never fun being the odd person out but no matter who you are, at one point in time you will play that role. 

I also want to state that I have dealt with my share of shit over the years from bullying to being picked on for a multitude of things, even to this day I still get stared at for looking a little different and can be the butt of many jokes.  I can also say my natural tendency is to be a little sensitive myself sometimes but it’s a battle I have fought adamantly over the years because the older I get, the more I realize that not only are people basically the same, but they are all fucked up in their own special little way.  We make the choice to be hurt by others because we feel we need to defend ourselves when sometimes it’s just as effective to indulge your opposition and let them reveal their thoughts or feelings no matter how conflicting or disturbing they may seem. 

We live in a society of words and ideas, whereas in the past, it was more about action and response. Emotion is what makes life beautiful but there is a time when you need to learn to turn it off.  The causes and reasons for people being mean are many, such as for revenge, a cheap thrill, too much to drink, a desire for attention, intimidation, and even fear.  A verbal assault is usually a call for a return of the same and to not do so would almost seem against code, assuming any such regulation existed.  Can you fight fire with fire though?  Of course, if you fancy conflict that is, but you can also choose no response and that may not still get you off the hook, but it’s what you’ve decided in your own head that determines how what you see outside of it that will affect you. 

It’s important that I note this wasn’t written simply to tell people to toughen up and accept that there are a bunch of mean bastards out there, it’s more or less to say that you have control over how you interpret these people and the potential reach of their insults.  As we bundle up when it’s cold, we must mentally cover ourselves in the presence of people who would seek to tear us down.  This may seem easier said than done of course, especially with very sensitive topics and in some cases, socially destructive rumors.  Not to mention that your own mental health comes into the picture, so if you know full well by now that you are easily offended by things, perhaps it’s time to examine why before something worse comes along.  The reality of life is that we as a people are going to be offended on a nearly daily basis, but if you take it as something that is inevitable, then there should be no need to let it bother you.  I also want to close by adding that some of the things people say can be very mean and it’s hard to turn your back on, but in order to survive and live well you must suffer through many hardships and be able to adapt to adversity in its every form.

ArgueRants #1: Immaturity and Video Games

I had a rather heated argument with my girlfriend the other day regarding my daily regimen of video games.  She finds it very immature that I play them because I am a 32 year old guy, but I should also mention she is a bit older then myself so naturally we have never seen eye to eye on a great deal of subjects.  What exactly makes someone mature is a question I have pondered many times throughout the years and when I think of maturity, I think of doing what needs to be done and handling conflict with patience, problems with purpose, while retaining a level of respect for others until such respect is lost. 

Depending on where you live, how much time you have, your financial situation and sometimes even your general health you may find yourself with only so many choices of things you can do.  As an adult, you are going to more than likely do one of the following things: go out to eat, have cook outs, see a movie, a concert, a show, an exhibit, go the beach, play a sport of some kind, go to a store, dance or chill at a club, ride a bike, go to a party, drink, screw, etc,but there are lots of games to play as well, so why should video games be naturally labeled immature?  There was a time when you could find a Ms. Pac-Man in quite a few bars and although that is not the case as much anymore, you are finding gaming consoles much more powerful on larger screens in the confines of many homes. 

Older gamers make up a large portion of the market and let’s face it, little kids aren’t paying for games themselves.  There are some geezer gamers out there too because when video games first really became a sensation in the 70’s and 80’with children and adults alike, the older ones started pioneering the field and the kids grew up to further fund the evolution of gaming itself.  The age of Atari is long gone and now the semblance of games to reality is quite uncanny.  I think there is nothing wrong with playing games as an activity because it is stimulating in its own right.  The whole point is to meet a goal or accomplish something and that takes focus and skill to do so and with current games it sometimes takes more thinking and micro-management as well as politics. The idea that “grown ups” don’t play games is archaic as the titles being produced this day and age are engaging and viable entertainment. 

It’s not only nerds that play games, but jocks and any other generalization of person you could imagine because the video game industry makes billions and it doesn’t do that by only appealing to a small group of outcasts.  My point is that someone can be a responsible business owner, family man, established professional or any other title of prestige one can adopt as they make their way into adulthood and still play video games on the side.  I myself am 32 years old and play video games quite a bit as you well know already, but I also play a lot of pool, I love to play poker and golf, I use to bowl on a league and when I was younger I enjoyed a good game of front yard football.  Games to me are a source of stimulation and they allow me to put all my focus on something and lose myself in it, unlike the never ending arise of conflict that pulls my mind one way and then the other.  Whatever one can find to help them relax or enjoy their time is a good thing by any means, whether it be wine and cheese parties with the neighbors or killing zombies as John F.Kennedy with a machine gun in the White House on your high definition television. 

Fact is, we live in a society of bursting technology and all around us people are designing things to appeal to our need for enjoyment so we work our asses off to give our money to them.  It’s not a bad system and a game is really a good investment for the money if you do enjoy playing them.  I know whenever I go out for drinks or play pool, I can easily drop a 1/3 of what I would on a game and get a lot less total time of enjoyment.  Of course, the experience may not be the same comparably, but when money is tight and you want to be frugal, a good video game is a mega bang for your buck.  You can’t go out every night of the week either, not at least if you work a decent amount of hours or you live in a town that doesn’t have much of a night life and television doesn’t always have a lotto offer, so why not enjoy yet another form of technological entertainment instead of labeling it strictly for children. Think of the movie Shrek, how both adults and children can watch it and both laugh, but often times the adults are picking up on different elements of the movie because they understand the references.  I believe this same concept applies to video games and I think there are many people that are denying themselves another one of life’s simple pleasures by clinging to these negative preconceptions that playing video games is childish.

As with anything, there are no absolutes and there are definitely games that are specifically geared towards children, but a bulk of the ones marketed are for ages 8-45 respectively. You don’t have to be a kid to take a step out into fantasy and there is nothing wrong with a little video gaming to improve hand eye coordination and concentration, as well as a little escape from the reality we all know too well.  Maturity should be more about living effectively than simply the sum of one’s activities and interests. 

Science Says You're Boring

I read an article of a study by a physicist named Albert-Laszlo Barabasi, who figured out that people are inherently 'boring' by using anonymous phone records to track peoples movements for a year.  It was found that even people that weren't typical homebodies still behaved predictably, but why is this exactly, I wondered. I think as human beings we feel a need to glorify our lives past that of the common animal, but in the end, are we all not looking for a warm nest to sleep in, some food to eat and a nice patch of land on which to take a shit? The part of our lives that we may consider exciting would probably only be a small percentage of our time and in typical fashion, these are usually the memories that fill our heads when we day dream and reflect upon our existence.  This being what it is, it makes me think, that if all that we inherently find stimulating happens to be activities that make up a small percentage of how we spend our time, then is our level of interest in something proportional to the amount of time we spend doing it?  It would make sense that we are hard wired with "duty" in mind, that any species would be invariably be doomed if it simply worried about its excitement level and cared not for the bare essentials.  It could also be a neurochemical impossibility for someone to live in a state of constant mental stimulus, as it would require a steady release of normally exhaustible levels of serotonin and dopamine.

So I guess what the big question is how much does time govern our enjoyment of things in life? Are our constant and fundamental shifts in interest a genetic advantage—compelling us to achieve different skills and knowledge, as well as diversity the sources we seek for stimulation?  Humans usually live a much different lifestyle than most wild animals, due to the fact that our food is readily available, our mortality is more closely guarded, and we basically have the luxury to entertain higher thoughts because all of our primal needs are fulfilled. 

  

I sometimes contemplate the question of who is truly happier: the person that experiences positive stimulus all the time or someone who only experiences it now and then?  One could argue that if you seek sustenance from something constantly that there is some sort of deficiency that you are trying to compensate for, that perhaps by constantly seeking gratification, we are only putting off the inevitable lack of it.  Is it possible to want fun just for fun or is there a reason we are compelled towards enjoyment?  What is the primal reason for fun? Is it indeed an off shoot of higher brain function--that it's an ideological spit in the face of the survivalist instincts that pervade us all, because let's face it— we're all practically hairless, soft-skinned, and inherently interdependent creatures that are virtually at the mercy of mother nature or man kind at any given moment. 

  

I just think its funny how what is usually really important to our survival is sometimes at the bottom of the list of priorities, while what is simply for the sake of fun is at the top.  Modern living is indeed a struggle between the scavenger and the poet, the animal and the man, and of the worm and the hawk.  We live between two realms, one a direct reaction to the world around us and the other a reaction to the world we build in our heads.  In the end though, does it matter if stimulation is external or if it is self-created and what really gets through to us any way, for the brain has as many filters as it does lenses, governing what we interpret and ignore, be it in the interest of self-preservation or good old fashioned hedonism.

  

So in closing, I know why people are predictable and the reason is because we are all fundamentally the same.  We have needs and we will fulfill them whenever we can and often times at whatever price.  Maybe it is this way so that deep down all of us can be somewhat in tune with everyone else.  So that we can essentially synch our individual patterns with other peoples because they are inherently constant and formulaic, making our individual efforts more efficient by having intimate knowledge of other peoples movements around us.  Simply put, by being predictable, we are ensuring other people can predict us and that we can predict them and that the hive mind that is all of thinking combined, can move forward—not as individuals—but as a species in general.  For even despite all our differences and conflicts, we work more in unison now then we ever have, mostly on behalf of technology, which of course is just another byproduct of our own desires.  So if any one ever calls you boring, you can tell them, it’s the human way, just as it is their right to be a douchebag.